THE GREEN GIRL CALL OF SPRING: BIKINI WAX AND ECO-DATING
Oh Green Girls…Love is in the Air...truly. Had the first bikini wax of the season – ouch! - which I won’t even attempt to find a sports analogy for. Suffice it to say…the
birds and bees are out (at least in my neck of the woods….some of you are still covered in snow). Whole Foods is alive again with singles on the prowl in the deli section and they’re also out in the dog parks again and community hiking trails. Life is good…or is it?
Okay. So the blind date, as referenced last week, didn’t go as anticipated. In fact…it was just a teensy bit shy of disastrous. I followed it up with a hopeful blind date from an online dating site. Sort of like a good-looking chaser to an already bitter drink:D (Dear Sir…although devastatingly cute, you
were a TOOL.) The online date was, in fact, downright embarrassing due to the fact that although the pictures were somewhat au currant in both directions, the intentions of the date were not as previously advertised, at least from his end, in my opinion. I’m swearing off online dating because, although “secure” (MASSIVE air quotes here) I found that many – or at least the ones I signed up for sold or shared my profile with a number of sites that I never signed up for. I even had a pseudo-stalker. Me! Of all people…and I’m a digital personality.
Many of you could very well be more savvy than I am about online dating and I’m pretty sure you are. And the guerilla tactics – I mean advertising - out there from eHarmony and other sites seem to indicate that online dating is indeed still alive and well out there and still generating mad duckets. Still, I gave it a full two year’s try for kicks and giggles. But, enough…ever the optimist, I’m still down for love.
According to Wikipedia, a reported more than $500 million was spent in 2005 on online dating, the
second largest segment of “paid content” on the web, according to a study conducted by the Online Publishers Association (OPA) and comScore Networks. Wow. That’s no chump change. I wonder how much I’ve spent, now that I think of it?
And, according MSN, an estimated 44 percent of adult Americans are single, according to U.S. Census figures which roughly translates into 100 million unattached singlets, AND 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women.
I used Nerve.com because I kinda dig their mag – edgy, snarky and oh-so-baaad in a seemingly dirty intellectual way. I also tried the other mainstream sites…but seriously, I may have to reconsider. It’s still very much a bar scene…but with less romancing and more “cut to the chase.” At least going to the bar is an incentive to put on that push-up bra, wear those killer heels and spend 2.5 hours on hair and makeup. Online dating requires 2.5 seconds of AIM, emailing, and perhaps 5.0 minutes of photoshop-for-dummies:D
And believe it or not, for kicks I snooped online and sonofagun, “green” dating sites? Fer reals? C’mon…no. Really? You’re joshin’ me. Peep this:
-Green Passions
-Vegan Passions
-Vegetarian Passions
-Green Party Passions
-Community Passions
-Activist Passions
-Earthwise Singles
-Veggiedate.com
-Green Singles
And yes, even Democratic Singles
WHO Knew? Anyone been on these? Anything you want to share?
According to Columbia News Service “The vegetarian population is quite small, about 1 to 5 percent of
the population. Finding love among these strict vegetarian singles, the so-called ‘ecosexuals,’ can be difficult.” Certainly there are many people who cover the green spectrum and not everyone is a vegetarian, nor has bio-diesel wheels. Gosh forbid some dude gives slaps a big meat kiss on you if you’re a veg, but by the same token, don’t be an eco-blanket and ruin my organic, sustainable extra-rare steak. Can’t we all just get along? Perhaps there needs to be some dating etiquette for the progressively green. No?
So what are we to deduce that GREEN dating is? By now we are all familiar with “The Scuppie” (socially conscious upwardly-mobile person) . Here is some amusing, to some, eco-vernacular that may come in handy on your next “green” date and perhaps shed some light on some “green” dating Do’s & Don’ts:
-Ecotarian - n. One who refrains from eating meat that isn't wild game (eats deer, grouse, duck, goose, javelina, etc., but not beef, farmed pig, industrial raised chickens, etc.)
-Ecosexual - n. A person who's into hybrid cars, low-energy lightbulbs, and recycling. Now that environmentalism is hot, ecosexuals are getting increasingly fashionable.
-Eco hoe – n. A woman who is a “treehugger” and controls her boyfiend/husbands outdoor activities.
-Eco babe – n. Passionate, powerful, beautiful women changing the world.
-Ecogasm - n. A feeling of overwhelming joy stemming from being in or viewing an amazingly beautiful landscape. Also: rapture from being in a pristine natural environment.
For some more on eco-jargon, go to InPopularTerms.net which tracks the shifting language of ecology. Got some eco-jargon you want to lay on us? You know what to do!
If green is the new black, shouldn't you know what you're wearing?
